Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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quantum physics?

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

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What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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