What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops