What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

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Neither did she.

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Women's Rights..

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops