Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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