johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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pudding

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops