Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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Sir, your wife is dead

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops