How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

leedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedle

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops