What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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who else is on here?

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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