Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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A hill billy went fishing

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Once upon a time there was a boy who was 16 and a girl who was 14. The guy is in year 10 and the girls is in year 9 . Alot of people think he is a pedofile. Comment your opinion.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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