Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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