How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

women's rights

A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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