What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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Get on the boat.

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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