i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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