"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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