What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

thumb_up thumb_down +6

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Chinese man fails a math test

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What has two legs and two arms? A Human

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops