How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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