Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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VITAMIN C!

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops