What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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Hello.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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