Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops