What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops