Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops