why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

h

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops