On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops