Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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