Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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