Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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