Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How does a black guy die? Unknown

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops