A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Your mama's so fat, that she died of diabetes

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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