Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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