An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Take wrong turns

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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A car walks into a bar.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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A man was shot. He died.

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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