What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

thumb_up thumb_down +2

man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops