A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

thumb_up thumb_down +22

This isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops