Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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