Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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