There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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