Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

Knock Knock Come in

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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