What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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