Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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