Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops