What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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