What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -40

An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

thumb_up thumb_down -52

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +29

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops