Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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