The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops