It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops