Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I like school Said no one ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

thumb_up thumb_down -4

But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops