A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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WHAT THE BABIES?!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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