whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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