I have a really funny joke.

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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