It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops