Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops