How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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Sloths

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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