Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

civil rights

What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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