Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops