What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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sky silverstein

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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