How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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I don't get it

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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