What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops