An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -17

We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock... ...no answer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I was watching Fox news.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Badabing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Wait! hundred billions!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

your no better than a cockroach

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops